Weigh

Weigh is a multimedia installation examining the residual toll that the experience of abuse has on the body. How these incidents create trauma responses + coping mechanisms that manifested into volatile personalities and a distorted sense of self.

In this piece I move + make patterns with sand and glass considering them as elements of my body. Through this process I create structure + destroy it. I remind myself that regardless of their construction these elements are the same; One begets the other. Through this practice I confront the idea that I have been in circumstances of chaos and I have been in circumstances of calm. Because of that, I reflect that fluctuation in my body. 

My work speaks to the experience of dissociation. When things are too terrifying to acknowledge, the mind does what it has to to protect oneself. Things slip through mental cracks or incidences are deleted all together, buried deep into the psyche. While this phenomenon is a tool of survival and not inherently damaging, these gaps contribute to the distortion and confusion of self. 

Due to this repression, much of my mental energy has been spent trying to parse out what is true, what is real. As I interact with sand, I consider myself as infinite. I connect to a network of life that is beyond my body; which itself, often feels broken and small. In this network, I am huge, and overwhelming. This practice of inner sense cultivation develops an experience of power. Through this transformative process of connectivity, I find myself.